Relief

Today has been better. It's been a bit of up and down through out the day. I realize that if I had posted this a few hours ago I would probably be typing something different. Right now I'm feeling relief. I have laundry going and I think I washed just about every sock Mike and I own. I prepped my lunch for tomorrow. I'm doing stuff around the house. For the past month I haven't been. Instead I had been sitting around with Callie, letting her sit on me, or just worrying.

It's the weight of worry that is now gone. I miss her, I love her, but I'm no longer worrying about her. There is no longer the fear of her being in pain. The guessing is gone. She is hopefully at peace now.

For the past hour I have been running up and down the stairs doing laundry and I feel so invigorated. I'm not constantly moving Callie as she snuggles in. I'm not worried about her following me and getting trapped in the work room. I'm free to run up and down the stairs as much as I want.

It's still lonely though. Callie is my first pet (well, that wasn't a fish) and while her absence is comfortable I miss having a furry being around. Even if we are ready soon we need to take the time to get our home as clean as possible so that we don't risk infecting our next pet.

She will always be my first. If you don't believe me just look at my shirt, I'm wearing my t-shirt with her face on it. Since she's no longer here in person I enjoy having her image close to my heart.

I spent my entire morning putting all of her pictures onto a DVD. It runs about a half hour. We might add music later. Earlier I had it playing while I worked on the laundry. I enjoyed looking up to see her face, even if it was hard to watch her transition from a healthy kitty to a sick one.